If I could choose the things I would like to accomplish before I die and successfully complete them, at the top of my list would be what I feel is the most important lesson in life: Never Be Afraid to Believe in Yourself.
The first task on my goal list would be to take the parents of each and every newborn child aside and tell them how devastating their child’s entire life could be because of a few avoidable events that could happen to them during their school aged years.
I meet so many people who do not believe in themselves. Sometimes I feel that if I meet one more, I am going to scream! The amount of people not believing in themselves has almost become an epidemic. Yet, for years, I thought I was the only one. I remember I once said, “to believe in yourself is nothing more than a bunch of hogwash!”
Past Experiences Can Determine How You Believe in Yourself
I was born in the darkness of ignorance. Until I graduated college, I truly believed that I was dumb. I had zero self-confidence and even less self-worth. I never raised my hand in school and often sat in the back of the classroom. I never asked a question for fear of looking dumber than I knew I was.
Teachers made fun of me and told me I’d go nowhere in life. They said I was a hopeless case. I didn’t believe in myself and accepted the fact that I would never be anything great when I grew up.
I came from an upper middle class family and was expected to attend college after high school. I knew college would be too hard for me, so why bother to go? When you don’t believe in yourself, your motivation stays in the toilet. You accomplish nothing; you simply exist.
The reason I say that I was born in the darkness of ignorance is because I was never dumb, I was ignorant. I was ignorant of the fact that I should have told my parents about how teachers often belittled me. If I would have talked to my parents when I was young, I’m sure my life would have been much different. Unfortunately at the time, I was too embarrassed and too ashamed to admit what the teachers were doing to me.
By all appearances, I was a normal child. I had lots of friends and acted like any other kid. I only had problems in school. I think the reason I had lots of friends was because I could read people like a book. I always solved everyone’s problems. When someone was down, I could always cheer them up. Yet, even with all my friends and family beside me, I never once believed in myself.
When I finally did attend college, I made straight “A’s.” This is when I realized that I was not dumb. I even started to believe in myself a little. A few years later, I learned that my problems during my earlier school years stemmed from being extremely right brain dominate. Schools tend to teach in a way that caters to the left brain dominate students. The right brain dominate children are often left behind.
Our Children are Not Taught to Believe in Themselves
I remember visiting my son’s seventh grade math class. I noticed several children in their own little group in the back of the classroom quietly whispering, drawing, and writing. The rest of the children were listening as the teacher was lecturing.
I knew the group of children in the back of the classroom. They were friends of my son and had been to our home many times. These were good children from good families who I knew were right brain dominate. It is a shame that right brain dominate children are often left behind. I remember how I stared at these children and wondered what they would say in ten years if I asked them, “Do you believe in yourself?”
Being right or left brain dominate is not the only reason people do not believe in themselves. There are many more reasons, but most of what happens to children during their school years is a major factor, both in school and out.
It is up to us, as parents, to make sure that our children understand that life will always have its ups and downs. It is how you get back up that matters. It is how you believe in yourself and feel about yourself that will determine your level of happiness and success in life.
